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| This semester hasn't been to hot. Besides me being able to wrestle nothing good has happened. It is awesome being with all of my brothers also. Pledging was freaking awesome. My little brother Donald is cool. We haven't really had a chance to hangout but when we do it will be cool. I have been drinking alot this semester and that is dumb so I am stopping for wrestling season. I know I should stop all together but hey at least I am stopping for wrestling season. I am cutting to 165 this week. It is a decent cut but I feel confident about wrestling 165. By the end of the season I want to be at 157 and when I make it there I am gonna be tearin people up. The fraternity is going great. It is alot of fun. We have done some pretty cool things this semester so far. Saturday is my first wrestling meet I am really excited. It will be alot of fun. Right now I'm not sure what to do about my girl situation. There is this one girl I like but she just wants to be friends. I know that is probably best but man I just don't know what to do. I guess I need to mature a little bit maybe that is what my problem is. A big problem is I can't find a girl that is interested in the same things I am. But oh well shit happens. Maybe things will get better. | | |
| So my first week back at school was ok. It was great to see everyone and hangout. Things between my girl and me are kinda hard right now. I really want to be with her but us not talking all week sucks. I just don't know what to do right now. A part of me wants her to have someone that she will be able to talk to everyday. Then another part of me wants her to stay with me. I guess that is kinda selfish. Hopefully it will work its self out. If me and her break up its gonna hurt. But shit happens I guess. It won't be the first time I have been hurt and probably won't be the last. All I know is whatever happens it will be for the best. All I really want is for her to be happy. Its like she thinks it doesn't matter to me if I talk to her during the week or not but believe me it does. This past week sucked. All I wanted to do was be with her. It seems like everytime something starts going great my way it somehow fucks up. This is one thing that if it fucks up it is really really gonna suck. Sometimes I just don't know what to do with my life. There is one person for sure that I know can help me and right now it seems like he is so far away but I know that he is always with me. I don't know I guess I am just rambling. Well I'm out for now. If anyone can help please do so. TTYL. | | |
| Well summer sucks so far. I had a job working with my dad and since me and him cant get along i quit. Its not like i was making any money anyway. Here lately it seems like everything has went to hell in a hand basket. From the last entry i have had sex with four girls but not alot of times. I slowed down a little bit. But it has been like two months since the last time i had sex and honestly i am glad. I found a girl that i really like and maybe even almost love. That is hard for me to say after i told one person i loved them and got shit on. But this girl is everything i want. I cant even put it into words thats how much i like her and want to be with her. But like always i do something dumb to mess things up. Last night i said some things that i should have never said. This girl doesnt deserver to be talked about like that and i know that it really hurt her and i keep tellin her im sorry. I guess sometimes sorry doesnt make up for it. Honestly in my eyes right now i feel that i dont deserve her. I think that is what hurts the most. The thing is right now i cant help but think about her cause she is perfect in every way. I wish i could just rewind everything in the past week and do it over. I would have stayed at her party longer not said shit about her and well be a nicer guy all around. I cant go back so now i am gonna have to make things right somehow. Its gonna be hard but i am gonna try my hardest. This sucks so bad and i sound gay writing all of this out but it needs to be said. Well i guess that is all i need to say for today so im out later. | | |
| Well its been awhile and since noone looks at this shit anymore i can type anything i want. Well i did have a gf and she broke up with me for a pretty dumb reason. Or at least i think its dumb. I dont know what is gonna become of me and her. I really like her but i dont know what to do in my life right now. Honestly i think i just need to focus on wrestling. I am not doing very well this year. If i would just focus more im sure i would do a hell of a lot better. From now on i am going to try to stop having sex. Cause the way i look at it is it just complicates things and well i dont need anymore complication in my life. I know it sounds weird for me to say no sex but hey i think right now that would be best in my life. I need to find a girl that will let me be who i am and not be jealous when i talk to another girl. She should know that since i am with her that i am hers and noone elses. If randi would realize this she would be a great gf. Dont get me wrong i want to be with her but i dont know if i can handle her being so jealous. Its like she doesnt trust me and i dont understand how she cant since i havent done anything to ruin her trust. I understand she has had it rough with her past bf's hey i get it but that is no reason to not trust me. I mean come on i was a Boy Scout. Well at this point in my life i am kinda stuck. I know noone gets on xanga anymore that is why i am typing this on here. Even if by chance someone would get on here who cares this is the truth and i dont care who reads it. On another note a couple of weeks back i got some texts from well you know who. I just dont understand what she wants from me. I think that she thinks i still have feelings for her and she thinks that she can keep me on a leash. But honestly all of those feelings have been lost. I mean i will always have love for her but as for me ever getting back with her i highly doubt it. The reason for this is because i got to thinking a little while back and well and i figured we went out about 20 months and she never saw me wrestle once and that is the only sport i played all through high school. Ok i will give her the one time she came and watched me play tennis. But that is the only time she ever watched me do anything. I always went to her stuff but oh well the past is the past. There is no sense in dwelling on it. I just dont understand how she can tell her bf that i keep sending her texts when she sends me texts first. Well i guess this is a good enough entry like one shepard said to the the other lets get the flock out of here. Im out later. | | |
| Ok so i think i am offically addicted to myspace. Its awesome. I have talked to some people on there that i havent talked to in awhile. Which is really cool. I really dont have much to say besides school is only like 20 days away from starting. I am really happy. Well im out for now later | | |
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